Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
