you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
