I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
