$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
