I got chris browned last night
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
