No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
