if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
