is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you win again, gameday.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
