She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
