sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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