he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I understand Curling. That high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
