Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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