My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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