My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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