oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
