nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
