..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Its about making memories worth repressing
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
