just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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