i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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