first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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