Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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