is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
