I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he puts the penis in happiness.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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