then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
