But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude i'm inner monologue high
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
