Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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