She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
