didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
