just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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