CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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