Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
