god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
