Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
