4 words: hood of his car
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
