ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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