I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
