Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
