I CAN MOONWALK!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
