I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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