If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
