I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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