Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
