Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
