Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
