oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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