He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
