I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
