Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
