"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
