I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
